he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He better not be in your backpack
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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