I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
i now understand why vodka
Randomize