I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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