I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize