im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
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Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
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Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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