you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize