when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Randomize