it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I want to make a zoo with you.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize