I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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