we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize