I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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