Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
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Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
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This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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