Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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