one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize