the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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