he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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