Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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