So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize