Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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