I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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