is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
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These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
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He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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