Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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