I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
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you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
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I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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