Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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