i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just invented taco cereal.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize