i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
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i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
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And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
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