I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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