I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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