We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
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