ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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