Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
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