Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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