i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
How external is "for external use only"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize