Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
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When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
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Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize