no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize