I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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