Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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