I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize