Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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