my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize