My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize