I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize