So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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