OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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