So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
My bed smells like the plague
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