and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize