She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
soo... how was my night?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize