i barfeds in our rink
I think my fart just growled at me.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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