I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
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Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
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there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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