my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
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His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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