every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
