i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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