Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize