your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you traded sex for a burrito?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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