Screwed.edu
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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