Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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